


Your Heart Rests in Your Chest (like a charm 'round your neck)

by a_case_for_wonder



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Gen, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:17:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21610780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_case_for_wonder/pseuds/a_case_for_wonder
Summary: "Jester," Fjord keeps his voice low. She scrubs a hand quickly across her face before she turns enough to look at him. He reaches out a cautious hand toward her shoulder. "are you hurt? I can-""I'm not hurt, Fjord," she says, too quickly.--Jester and Fjord have a quiet moment after her conversation with the Gentleman
Relationships: Fjord/Jester Lavorre
Comments: 3
Kudos: 100





	Your Heart Rests in Your Chest (like a charm 'round your neck)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm extremely non-committal when it comes to M9 ships, so this can be read as platonic or pre-romantic. I love them lots either way!! 
> 
> Special thanks to @cranesofibycus on Tumblr for the lovely prompt. Cross-posted from Tumblr because I crave validation. 
> 
> Spoilers for episode 85
> 
> (Title from Dawes' "the way that you laugh" which is a very Fjorester song)

"Jester?"

He finds her pressed against the wall beside the door to their room beneath the Leaky Tap. He'd taken a watch rather than make any pretense at sleep after the day's events, so he'd seen her slip away. Heard her footsteps as they returned and hesitated outside the door. Heard the single suppressed sob. 

She's standing faced away from him, shoulders curled, arms folded tightly around herself. Like if she presses hard enough she could wink out like one of her duplicates, disappearing altogether.

"Jester," Fjord keeps his voice low. She scrubs a hand quickly across her face before she turns enough to look at him. He reaches out a cautious hand toward her shoulder. "are you hurt? I can-"

"I'm not hurt, Fjord," she says, too quickly. Her voice is hoarse. He pulls his hand back. She watches him do it. 

"Okay." He pauses, hovering, not sure what to do. She's been crying, that much is obvious even to a fool like him. "That's good. But… something is wrong. What is it?" 

She shakes her head. "You should go back to sleep, Fjord. You need your rest." 

She's been crying, and trying to hide it. Maybe he should just respect her space. But the thought of leaving her alone like this feels _wrong_ on a more visceral level than staying and sticking out a little awkwardness. He tucks his hands into his pockets, leaning against the wall beside her with finality.

"I don't think any of us should be off on our own right now," he says carefully. "But neither of us should stand here all night. Come back inside."

She shakes her head again, arms tightening. "I don't think I can-" her breath catches, her lip wobbles, and her next words come out on a horrifying sob, "I can't-" 

"Hey, hey." He's moving before he can think about it, taking her by the shoulders and drawing her, unresisting, against his chest. Her arms unfold just enough to clutch at the leather edges of his breastplate. 

"Alright," he whispers, aiming for gentleness through his own growing alarm. He folds one arm across the back of her shoulder, the other hand cradled uncertainly at the back of her skull. "You're alright. Hey." 

There's an empty bedroom just across the hall from the one they'd dog-piled into. "Come on, let's. Let's sit down," he whispers, and backs them up through the door, Jester stumbling to follow without letting go. He lets go with one hand long enough to shut the door softly behind them.

That seems to break through the haze of Jester's tears. She looks up, blinking and rubbing at her eyes, looking around the room. It's empty but for a single bed in the center of the back wall. She slips out of Fjord's arm and darts to the back corner nearer the door, sliding down the wall and settling curled around herself, eyes squeezed shut. Fjord edges toward the center of the room, trying not to loom as he grabs a blanket off the bed and sidles up to a space on the wall beside her, taking a seat on the floor as well. 

"What's going on?" He asks again. 

She takes a deep, shuddery breath. Without opening her eyes, she finally whispers "My dad."

Fjord frowns. "I know you're disappointed," he says, trying to sound soothing, not that he has any real idea how to go about it. "But I'm sure you'll find him." 

She makes a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and opens her eyes to look at him. She looks… adrift. that's the only word he can think of. Like she's lost alone at sea. He holds out the blanket and she grabs it from his hands, wrapping it tightly around her shoulders. 

"I did."

It takes a moment for Fjord to understand, but when he does his heart breaks. "I was _right_ Fjord. The Gentleman. He's my dad. And he _knew,_ he knew it as soon as he saw me. He just-" she breaks off in another quiet sob before gathering herself. "He didn't want to tell me."

She's shaking, even under the blanket. "I'm sorry, Jester," Fjord says, unsure of what else to offer. Her violet eyes are pleading in the dark. 

"He says it's because he can't be my dad, because he wasn't there for me when I was little, you know? Because he became a bad guy sort of by accident? To get money to marry my momma. But then he couldn't go back because he was a criminal." Her words are rapid and clotted with tears, picking up speed. "And then he met me when we came to Zadash and he realized what he left, and he felt so _bad_ because he didn't even know I existed when he abandoned me, but he didn't tell me and _why couldn't he just tell me, Fjord?"_

Fjord is momentarily speechless, so he just holds up one arm in silent offer. Jester sniffs, then slides over, tucking herself against his side, her cheek and the jut of one horn pressed to his chest. It's strange. She's such a large presence in their little group, and so strong, sometimes he forgets she's smaller than him. She feels small, now, and it's so _wrong_ to Fjord's senses he has to do something to right it. 

__

It's a lot to take in, her story, but it… fits. With what they've seen of the Gentleman, what they know of Marion's story. 

__

"What…" Fjord feels out each word carefully, like crossing a ship in a storm. "What did he actually say?" 

__

"He said _I'm not your father, Jester,"_ she says, in the over-emphasized dramatic tone she uses for imitations. _"Fathers have to be there. And I was just like, a big weenie here in Zadash who didn't say anything even though you used such super cool powerful magic to message me all the time."_

__

He can tell when she slips into her own narration, of course, but he doesn't call her out on it. It's as endearing as ever, and Fjord finds himself smiling to hear it despite the ache in his heart. He tightens the arm around her shoulder just a bit. She's not shaking as much as before. 

__

"So he's worried he's not good enough for you." Fjord smiles down at her crookedly, top lip catching at the tip of one half-grown tusk. "There are worse things, surely." She shrugs under his arm. 

__

"I guess." Now that the fun of her imitation is wearing off, the tremble creeps back into her voice. "But that's so _stupid,_ Fjord! Me and my momma, we wouldn't have cared that he got in some trouble with pirates or whatever! She loved him! And I just-" her voice drops off, trailing into uncertainty. But Fjord isn't so slow he can't fill in the gaps, with her. 

__

"You wanted him to love you, too." 

__

She sniffles again. "Is that really dumb?" 

__

"Hey, no." After a second's hesitation, he takes the hand from her shoulder and runs it gently over her hair, the way he's seen Nott do sometimes. She sighs a little, the puff of her breath warm at the base of his throat above his armor. 

__

"No," he repeats. "It isn't dumb. I'm… I'm the last person to know anything about family, but. Why wouldn't you want a father who loves you? You deserve that, Jester. You're… you're incredible." 

__

He feels the shift in her cheeks as much as he sees the hint of a smile on her face in the dark. "I am pretty amazing," she says. Her voice is still rough, but she doesn't sound like she's actively fighting back tears anymore. 

__

"That you are," Fjord can help saying. "And you know… whatever you decide, we'll back you up. You did it for me, right? So if you want Beau to beat him up-" she giggles a little, and he jostles her shoulder, "or if you want to try and be a family with him, we'll follow your lead." 

__

"...okay." 

__

They sit like that in silence for a few minutes, just breathing, tucked into the corner of the empty room. Jester shifts eventually, but it feels like she's trying to burrow closer, rather than pulling away. 

__

"We should probably get back to the group," she mumbles against him, in contradiction to her own movement. Her tone is reluctant. She isn't ready to face everyone. Not just yet. 

__

Fjord finds himself rather reluctant to break the moment they've woven, too, despite the safety of numbers. "We could stay a while longer, if you want." 

__

With his free hand, Fjord reaches out and snags the other blanket off the bed, carefully draping it over them both. Then he summons the Star Razer into his grip. The blade glows dimly in the dark of the room, casting the two of them in a bubble of comforting blue light. 

__

"I'll keep watch," he says softly. "Get some rest." 

__

"Okay." Her voice is already dragging with exhaustion. He can only imagine what the night must have taken out of her. "Thanks, Fjord." 

__

He sets his watch that way, beneath a thin spare blanket in a spare room, Jester curled snugly against his side, the sword ready across his knees. He rubs a thumb absently at her shoulder, feeling her breath even out toward sleep. They will have to go back to the others eventually, but for now they are safe enough. For now, she can rest. 

__

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Kudos, comments, and con-crit always welcome and much loved!! 
> 
> Come yell at me on Tumbr @a-case-for-wonder, where I am usually blogging about one of these dice rollin' shows, and often getting emotional about Fjord in particular.


End file.
